A few days ago I posted to Instagram with a caption asking " how do you really feel about social media and Instagram"
SAAAAYYY WWWHHHAAAATTT, but no really give me a chance. Click the link below to see the original post that showed me just how strong the unfollow button can be to my business.
In this post, I share my real feelings about social media, how it makes me feel less the amazing sometimes and the actions I'm choosing to take in my personal life to really walk the talk.
Now, this is not a new subject, i guarantee if you look at any business owner you follow on Instagram they probably have a caption relating to something similar to this on their page.
This has been a topic on my mind for a long time, but its always hard to know WHEN is the "right" time to discuss it. because we as business owners, as professionals as people who have created a brand are risking everything we've work so hard to build up, because of how you and millions of other people who could potentially see that post could take it the wrong way or in a way that we didn't see it being perceived.
So let's jump right into the why. Why has this been on my mind, how does this affect me and you, and WHY is it better for your mental health to say "fuck it"
a few months ago when I had just went full time I got sucked into buying an app that i thought would better my business, but all it did was hinder it and hinder myself.
I invested in one of those apps, that shows you who unfollows you on social media. Now before you're all like " oh my gosh, i can't believe you bought that BS". GUYS. Have you ever noticed that pesky people who follow you and then immediately unfollow you? Well, I got this app so I could see who those people were, I have a strict "ill follow you in a day or two IF you're still following me" rule. That's because i don't enjoy the follow unfollow game, I actually despise it. So in my mind, by relying on that app to tell me who unfollowed me I was staying on top of my game business wise, and seeing who was really interested in my post.
Well, one-day I'm on the app, and I'm noticing who unfollowed me not surprised by any of it and then I see an account pop up by someone i considered my friend, someone I had photographed things with, someone who I had bonded with over our job the difficulty of it and how it affected mentally, creatively, and physically how it made us feel.
I couldn't understand why this person who I considered my friend would do that. Why would they unfollow me, did they think i would never notice? Did I do something wrong to them and we're not friends anymore, Did they ever really like my work or were they just saying that because at the time I was a convenient friend for them.
&& I sat down and said to my self. NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU DANIELLE, your Instagram does not make or break you, that number beside your name doesn't represent ANYTHING about you or your business.
I realized that this friend wasn't setting out to do anything to hurt me, she probably didn't even think about me when she unfollowed me. because she was worried about her self, her mental health, HER business, her creativity. How she was focusing on following people, companies, other business that aligned with what she wanted her brand to represent.
& I just want to say THANK YOU. Thank you for being that person. Thank you for being someone who takes action to better yourself, your business, and your life.
Since then, I've slowly started unfollowing people that I feel don't push me creatively, people whose post make me feel like my work isn't good enough, or post that makes me feel like I'm not skinny enough, or my make up isn't pretty enough, that I don't travel enough, or post that makes me feel like I should be doing more when I KNOW I'm doing as much as I can in my business + personal life. I don't follow a ton of people in my industry in the same market/region as I am because we're all competing with each other, we're all comparing each other work, why they got booked for that wedding and we didn't, why they have 35 weddings and i have 16, why it seems like they have everything together I still have no idea what I'm doing.
UNFOLLOW THEM. UNFOLLOW EVERYONE WHO MAKES YOU OR YOUR WORK ANYTHING FEEL LESS THEN PERFECT.
YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE THEN TO BE DEFINED BY A NUMBER.
YOU ARE KILLING IT, YOU ARE WORKING YOUR ASS OFF, YOU ARE LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE.
YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU ARE DOING IS ENOUGH.
Don't be scared to do something for you, for your health for your mentality and for your business, You deserve to do what makes you happy. You deserve to feel like a queen or king, or Beyonce, whatever you want to feel like, you deserve it.
My friend is Holly. Holly unfollowed me and opened my eyes to so much more then I could have ever expected. I'm not hurt that she unfollowed I respect her for it, and I want her to know that she's worth so much and she's such an amazing person and I admire how open and honest she is. She's not afraid to be herself and to let her brand be her true self.
Here is her site, it's pretty amazing so check it out and if you're in the Seattle area reach out to her you won't be disappointed.